8 May 2017

Prologue - Fight!

The prospect of death is a very strong motivation - Dan Brown

It was the middle of winter one of the most severe this century. Strong wind blew my hair that was falling into my mouth. It would not be so cold, if not for the horrible wind. I looked straight ahead and nostalgic.
In this situation, I should tremble with fear, but I was calm because it was already late. I concentrated on the quietness. Breathing in, breathing out. It's going to be okay. It has to be okay because this is the end.
Now I feel sorry for myself and I show how weak I am, because my days, or minutes from now, are counted and all just because of the person that is pushing me violently forward, the person who became my nightmare. We walked through the dark forest, which I perfectly knew. Here together with my dad every Sunday after dinner we were going for a walk with our dog. I haven't come here for three months. After my dog died I did not have good memories of this place no more and I wasn't going to come here again but now I had no choice. Although I wasn't even intrested in how and where I'll die. I'm a furious because I made it easier for the killer. Plans for my future has been revealed to me about six minutes ago. I was scared to death, like everyone else, but I was afraid of it even more. What will happen when the life evaporate out of you? What happens when all this will pass?
The sad truth, about which everyone is afraid to talk: we are living just to die. I'm afraid of myself. Fear seized upon me a long time ago. Too much fear for the life that you need to maintain, for the future, death. I can not believe, although I would love to. I'm a coward. I am an atheist. I doubted, because "God" has not given me reason to believe in him. Although people are created to believe. Even the atheist believes. He believes that there is no God ... why one succeeds? Why do some people have the perfect life and the others' breaks into pieces? Strange is that no one can answer this question, as no one answer to the question of what comes after death. You'll know when you are on the border, and all of us on it sooner or later will be found. Because life is a story of an idiot. Bullshit that pisses me of is: you need to find a goal in life! For every human the plan is already made. Bullshit. We live to die.
There was only the steps that you could hear. My hands were held in the back. When I just wanted to get them out they were more and more twisted. Dark forest added me confidence because I did not have to look at the face of the psychopath behind me. Big birch trees were tilted to one side succumbing to the powerful wind, which wanted to show the power it has over them. Branches curving to the right, because the wind wanted so. And if you believe the believers I'm going to die, because God watned so.
After a moment, we turned right, and I was stumbling over stones, I didn't even notice that I've found myself in front of the frozen surface of the lake. The place where my life will be ended. I know why the murderer chose this place, this way of death. I've heard this story a lot of times.
When the kidnapper pushed me forward, I digged my legs into the ice.
- Go - I heard the whisper in my ear.
We stopped abruptly in front of ice holes. While looking at the hole in the lake, which was used for fishing, I would never have expected that in just a moment I'll swim under the ice ... but already dead.
- Take out the phone – the person commanded me. I pulled out the device from my jacket's pocket very slowly. Impatient human behind me, snatched my cell phone from my hand and began to enter the locking code, which was the date of my birthday. The killer gave me back the phone.
- Say goodbye. Do not explain, do not clarify a thing. Just do it quickly.
With trembling from cold hand I wrote the message. Specifically - my last message.
You were the only ones that kept me alive for so long. Do not weep for me, I do not want that. Under the ice, even though it is cold, there is peace and silence. I love you..
I was writing slowly and carefully. A sob escaped from my throat when I pressed the "send" button. Message came to everyone from my contacts, except one. As soon as I did, cell phone was took away from me and thrown into ice hole.
- Now it's your turn - digged legs. I need just a moment.
- I hope you'll rot in jail – I hissed.
I did not hear the answer. I was already dead.
I turned around quickly, trying one last time to see the eyes of my torturer and the last time I saw those eyes ... that never cheated on me. Then it was pretty much a matter of nature. How much can you not breathe? How much can you not freeze? I felt the icy water that began to pour into my nose, ears and mouth opened in shock. Why shock? Previously, I realized that it was a matter of minutes or seconds before it became obvious. But now? Now I know for sure ... I don't want to die. Not yet. I pushed myself from the bottom with all my strength I had left. I hit a sheet of ice with my head and then I turned upside down and kicked it causing a spider's web. Why do I even fight?
I'm afraid. I look around.
I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying ...
I was paniced. The lungs began to fire, demanding air. Head throbbed from the impact. I fell to the ground of the lake, and the black fog appeared in front of my eyes. I tried to escape, but I lost strength. Darkness was approaching faster than I wanted. It began to engulf me. I still struggled. My psyche was in trouble for six months. How do I win when body can not and mind don't want to?
When on the ring there are two opponents. One is tall, strong, well-built bodybuilder who has won every fight. Who does not take into account the failure. And the second one? It's a total opposite - thin, humiliated and weak. In this case, who will win? Despite the faith, and hope of the weaker player, he will lose against an opponent. No matter how hard he tried.
Now I was this miserable player, and my opponent was darkness. And in this case, there was no miracle. Darkness has won.
..Discover the truth.

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